Hello,

I'm asking for your prayers. My problem is that I have a weak character. Most people think I am a "nice guy" since I am always polite, pleasant and soft spoken. The truth is that I lack the courage to tell the truth if I feel the truth will either offend someone or get me in trouble. This has been going on for so long that we an unpleasant situation confronts me, almost without thinking I blurt out a lie.

Also to avoid confrontation and unpleasantness, I will unthinkingly agree to take on any task - but then I will fail to follow through on my word. And then I'll lie to cover it up.

I've seen therapists and psychologists, but nothing seems to help.

I need to stop lying; I need to speak with those to whom I have lied and ask forgiveness. I need to make restitution where my actions have caused others harm.

But if I do this I will lose my job, possibly lose my license (I work in a regulated profession where I need a licence) and if anyone sues me for damages, I'll lose any insurance coverage for having admitted my fault, I may even face criminal prosecution as I have even forged documents to cover my tracks.

I've started praying to God for help. I need courage and wisdom, but the words of James 1: 5-7 haunt me, as I am a doubter. After a lifetime in the church, I began to read and study the bible in depth about 10 years ago, hoping to deepen my Christian experience. But the more I studied, the more I became convinced that Christianity was not true. By the time I finished with Revelation I had lost all faith. I still cannot bring myself to believe even though I desperately want to be a Christian again.

Please pray that I may overcome my unbelief; that I may gain the moral courage to face up to my past faults and accept the consequences, however serious they may be; and that I may have the wisdom to sin no more.

Just a few thoughts, Henry, and I will pray for you too.

It seems to me that before you start worrying about your behaviour you need to really meet and come to know Jesus. As you get to know (not 'know of' Him) the important things will follow. You could start rereading the Gospels - slowly, picturing each scene, trying to imagine how it was to be there, how you would have reacted in the same situation. Mark is a good one to start with.

You cannot in yourself have the wisdom and power to sin no more. Remember that those words were preceded by "Neither do I condemn thee". In His strength each of us needs to have a daily walk with Him. For me the ultimate promise is in 1 John 3:2 (quoting from memory) For when He shall appear, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is".

Thank you sincerely for your prayers and counsel.

Oh, Nan, you left out the best part where Jesus says, "go and sin no more." I don't take that as a command as much as His enabling us to do as He asks.

Henry, I'll be praying for you, as I know what it is to always want to please and not having enough "intestinal fortitude" to give an honest opinion all the time.

Henry, we will be praying for you. Recognizing the problem is a good start and you did it. It maybe a slow process but don't give up. You're halfway there!

I agree with you Dottie, I was just completing the quote Henry had made.

"All His biddings are enablings"

Henry, I am praying for you! I don't know who you are but God does and he wants you in heaven even worse than you want to be there.

I would recommend you read the book by Max Lucado called "In the Grip of Grace". I think it will bring hope to your heart and help you understand the incredible value you have, regardless of your past.

Adding you to our pray list! Just remember that God loves you.

pkrause

Loving Father, we thank You for Your long-suffering towards Your learning-disabled children that we are. We are so blind! Tonight we thank You for calling Henry back into Your fold and opening his eyes to the sins that keep him from You. As he confesses those sins, we trust that You have forgiven him completely. We ask now that You will give him strength to go forward and grow in Your grace. Call him daily to a prayerful study of Your word so that he may know You. Reveal to him Your love and mercy. Fill him with the measure of faith that will compel him to do Your will. Father I say this prayer with Henry, but it is also for me and countless others who long to come home. Until that day, we ask that we will bring You honor in that which we do and ask it in Jesus' name. Amen.

hi, Henry, I will pray for you. I am Jane from far away-China. i don't think you've read the right book to understand revelation. are you a SDA ? Whatever ahead of you,remember that a SDA in China praying for you!

Henry,

you have my prayers along with the others' here!

as Nan said, with God's power, Go and Sin No More!
i will add a couple logistical-practical suggestions re: Sinning No More that may be useful in wading thru the mire you're experiencing.

1. Don't be So Nice!
A. Do Not make Commitments You can't Follow Thru
B. Do Not Feel Compelled to tell people whatever will make
them feel good - in spite of the truth. Tell the
Truth! Henry - other people's insecurities are Not
Your Responsibility. Of course, be gentle, don't be
brash or rude or use honesty as an excuse to spout
your opinions that also aren't others' biz. But You
won't do that, that is not like you. You are the Too
Nice Christian.

2. Tell the Truth
I don't just mean when you tell a Lie on Purpose cuz You are Purposely avoiding telling the truth. Everytime you make a commitment you can't keep, everyone time someone asks your professional opinion and you do not give it to them cuz it will not be so favorable - you are lying.

To begin with, there may be times when you want to Plead the 5th rather than telling the Full Truth, or tell someone part of the truth and not the whole shibang. That's okay - that is not lying given a proper context. That's responsibly taking situations and feelings into account. You know your professional situation and how that moderates Proper Contextual Behavior.

Try these behaviors out for 21 days. That's how long it takes to "make" a New Habit. First - Don't make Commitments You Can't Keep!

I would love to see a reply from you b/c I hope this makes sense. Just baby steps, Henry. I'll be praying for your unbelief, not just your character and behavior!

Well, it's 2 years and one month later since I last posted. Thank you all for your prayers. 2008 and 2009 were challenging as I battled depression and suicidal thoughts; but God managed to pull me through, often in spite of myself. I struggle with unbelief, yet I see the invisible hand of God guiding and protecting me.

I thought my procrastination and lying were under control, but then I screwed up (i.e. lied) once again - badly. And this time I don't think the issue will be resolved without serious consequences. Due to God's goodness I have the means to pay the financial damage; but the damage to a friendship may be irremediable. My family will suffer, not just the financial hit, but the stigma that "dad" is a liar.

The words to that great hymn, "It is well with my soul" ring true to me today - My sin, O the bliss of that glorious thought; my sin not in part but the whole; is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more; praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul.

I commend my fate to God, and claim His forgiveness. I bear not the penalty of my sin, though I may face temporal consequences, and I type these lines with a heavy heart. I pray not that I escape the consequences, but that His Will for me and my family be done.

Well Henry will be adding you to our pray list. And thanks for posting that.

pk

I'm so glad that you have returned with an update for us, Henry!

Praise God that He has been your help in your distress! It is the contrite heart, the heart of brokenness, that feels its need, that God is closest to. My prayer is that when you are humbled in the sight of the Lord that He will lift you up :)

HENRY

YES I will be praying for you this issue and
GOD is working for sure

I hope you will come back before 2 more years

dgrimm60

HEnry we both share the same problems, it was very hard to say no to somebody so often i lied. But nowadays i am not like that anymore. You see, you don t have to humble and lower yourself for other people because we are all unworthy and selfish in our first natural nature. Rather humble and lower yourself for our Lord Jesus Christ and realise that people are so much lower than God is. Walk with the Lord and make that your priority and don t even worry about what other people think of you. No person has the right to judge you, even if you are not nice to somebody.

I just prayed that your faith might grow...

What helped me a lot were the presentations of Walter Veith. They are a real Faith-booster!

http://www.amazingdiscoveries.tv/

Thank you all for your prayers.

God has answered my prayers; the man I wronged has forgiven me. Praise God.

HENRY

WELL that is great news and yes PRAISE GOD

dgrimm60

Praise the Lord Henry!!!!

pk

Beautiful prayer by a beautiful Christian, and I'm not just saying that because I have a new-bornagain daughter named Stef(anie).

And Henry, you are very fortunate to recognize your weaknesses as your Father in heaven has a few promises just for you. (and whoever else needs and accepts them)

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."2 Cor 12:9 KJV

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."1 John 1:9 KJV

And remember this, as you rejoin the flock on your way back in, those who hold you in abeyance to past sinful conduct of which you've asked forgiveness, are disbelieving of the underlined above, if you've exercised your faith in that Word as God's promises to you.
JOY!!